Grandma was not a fan of the beer-can ornaments. Not "traditional".
My mom just found some of our lube mixed in with my box of pots and pans. I hate moving home.
From the prices on this menu it looks like I have no choice. I have to blow him.
he will always be the guy i fucked in the hallway.
MASS TEXT: who ever dared Todd to suck on the Clorox wipes last night.. good goin jackass. you can come visit him, hes in room 266, AFTER hes done getting his stomach pumped.
HE DARED ME TO DARE HIM... DONT PUT THAT ON ME.
IM A DRUNK BIRTHDAY CLEOPATRA MESS. CELEBRATE THAT BITCH
I just wanna lay in my bed all bundled up as have someone feed me lettuce
I wish someone would just come knock on my door and fuck me already so that me and my stuffed animals aren't the only ones who see my amazing spring break tan. I'm not getting skin cancer so I can just sit here abstinent.
I feel like we shud celebrate your sisters homecoming by having sex in her room
It's national boyfriend day supposedly, would it be appropriate if I posted a picture of my dildo?
So, settle a debate for my housemates. Have you measured your dick. And how long. Results Will not be disclosed
That awful moment when there is no more beer and you find yourself considering tequila and aloe juice.
It's still fucked up that my mom let me think Vanilla Ice was my dad for YEARS just because she thought it was funny.
this is the fourth time i've taken my clothes off for money this year. is that normal for the average college sophomore?
You know you're getting old when you pick up hot sorority girls at the bar, and they write down their phone number, and under it 'we're great babysitters!'
Randomize