tweet Hawks Win!! tweet
That's how twitter works, right?
I'm at his house. He has VELCRO shoes. I'm too desperate to leave...I may need help in thee life dept
they need to just BURY HIM!
The drink u got me is pineapple something w. Cigarete ashes in it.ima drink it anyway
You're the only chick there. That's not an orgy, that's called a gang bang...
wait a second... your telling me you want me to take you to the bank at 10 on a tuesday so you can buy a blow up pool and fill it with beer?
yes... and buy you lunch
my nick name has gotton too long over the years..C.T.P.S.G.F.P.G.......cock tease private school groupie frat party groupie.
Well fuck that. I mean, I made out with my cousin once. Who gives a fuck.
I walked into his room and he was naked with a half eaten pecan pie and a bottle of wine.
My Pizza Lunchables won't fit in the fridge because of all your alcohol. One of our addictions has to give.
will i regret this in the morrning? probably. but every decision is good during happy hour
I knew this night was headed for bad when I was drinking cherry bombs out of a sippy cup in the shower
You just want to live out all your fuck fantasies with all these girls through me. I know your game. Well played sir.
It can't be Friday yet, in still getting friend requests of people I don't remember from last weekend
You kept apologizing to your car for talking behind its back
Randomize
