I painted my nails silver
And what are the implications of that?
Is there supposed to be a msg in that? Just thought ud like to know it looks like I fingerbanged an alien
Tell me exactly where it said it wasn't a unisex bathroom.
Stop everything. They have oreo straws to drink milk with and then you eat the straw. I think i just got turned on by a cookie commercial.
Our house smells like week old pizza, beer cans, cigarettes, and depressing career tracks....get lysol.
You realize it's finals week?
Ya that's the school's fault. St. Patrick's day came first.
I was hoping we just happened to wake up naked and I hadn't fucked him.... no such luck.
i caught the condom in my mouth.. dont ask me how
Correct me if I'm wrong here... but did we serenade each others breasts to "winds of change" last night?
Don't use the things I tell you while drunk after the bruins won the cup against me
The fact that she put a frat guy in check tells me I did some good raising my little sister. Time to see if she does keg stands.
But the guy you're fucking should not be within ten pounds of your weight when you're five fucking feet tall and he's 6'2". That's all I'm saying.
How are you feeling?
Hungover as shit. Someone just knocked on my window to make sure I was alive. I have been sleeping in the drivers seat for an hour parked outside my store. That is how okay I am.
Also cheers for the reminder to check last night's texts. It's been a magical adventure through drunk me's thought process.
Pulling on my sock literally just took me 5 minutes.. The hangover is real
It's been three years since Kelly shit in the to go box that we put in Sam's mailbox after we broke up. Considering Sam and I are friends again, should I finally tell him?
Randomize
