so last night after we hooked up i got my period and woke up this morning with a blood stain on his bed and not only was it huge but i had put my jeans back on before bed so i took the walk of shame with period stained pants
Just made a coke joke and literally drooled on myself. How do we feel about pavlov's theory of conditioning now?
I have an excuse to be a whore in Mexico. I'm conducting an experiment to see if small dicks are caused by the poor drinking water.
I cant be sure, but i think ive been drunk in this church before.
So, just in case you go to the bathroom in the middle of the night.. Sam is asleep in the first stall.
trying to figure out what happened last night by looking around the apartment.
naked man under the piano. THE PLOT THICKENS.
That accounts for only three of the penises
If his smile makes you freak out and drop things imagine what his penis could do
I think it would be reallllly cool if you took your best friend to work so she doesnt have to have an awkward cab ride with the driver she drunkenly made out with last night ...
When the neighbors threatened to call the cops, he yelled at them that American laws didnt apply to him because he was Danish. He then sang his own version of "America fuck yeah" along to daft punk, then fell down the porch steps. Can we keep him?!?!
4 out of 7 roommates in one month isn't that bad if you think about the fact that 3 of them were in the last 24 hours
Most tragic bathtub-fart of all time. I am going to be late.
Do you ever get a cramp in like, ONE labia?
I found myself looking up beard accounts while masturbating, I guess that's what it's come to.
I'm fucked-out. That state of being high between fucked up and passed out.
Randomize
