I hate you but I'm not in hate with you
How the fuck did you go into work today? You are a better man than I. I couldn't even show up to being unemployed on time.
imagine if we didn have a dick. we would be so much more productive
You don't even understand how penises react in the cold. I'm like a 8 year old boy right now.
but you don't have to sleep on top of four different cum stains because you'd rather buy a case of Franzia than spend $3.50 in the student laundry room
Theres a picture of you hanging up on the wall in mcdonalds, i'm impressed
the only good thing about breaking up with him while naked was that i got to make a forgetting sarah marshall reference
Banana suit guy has an entourage and they're all douchebags. There is no god.
You need to finger her with the Spock hand sign since she loves Star Trek.
It will be the shitshow of all shitshows.
I'm trying to blow this guy down here can you please get my husband out of the house.
Yeah, but having a dick this size has ruined 3 marriages.
he was almost the father of your baby, you should let him take you to dinner
I had a good weekend too...although I cried about the dog in a drunken stupor last night...not one of my finest moments, but it's all water under the bridge.
I just came in my own mouth don't ask me how cuz it really hurt and felt good at the same time.
Randomize
