Stop everything. They have oreo straws to drink milk with and then you eat the straw. I think i just got turned on by a cookie commercial.
Feel like bed is flying. Not sure where we're going. Hope there is candy.
The bender is in full force. After 2 bloody mary's at breakfast we are now drinking vodka redbull "as a precaution" so we will stay awake for the club tonight.
i was about to cum until he started doing shrek impressions.
All I saw was a beagle come across the screen and explain the theory of relativity to me and leave
We're playing a drinking game to 'how to train your dragon'. has it really come to this?
while we were making out your friend starting kissing my toes and all you had to say was "just go with it"
I just want to make mistakes. Like stds that go away with antibiotics mistakes.
Is "sorry I booted you out mid-fuck last night" a good icebreaker?
Unfortunately hes not a hipster douchebag with no life goals, so naturally I'm not interested.
He stole all of his parent's vodka WHILE they were in the room, and then opened the window and snuck out. I was watching from my truck
This is my life. Enjoy the view
I'm still hammered too. I started tweeting the time at one point I'm pretty sure.
He went down on me and then made me breakfast in bed. He's a man you can bring home to mom.
Apparently i'm now known as the kid who was double fisting tequila and pedialyte.
Randomize
