It just feels so wrong throwing away the condoms into her Hello Kitty trashcan
Hooked up with my first aid and cpr teacher last night. She dressed as a lifeguard and brought me back to life. Beat that.
Most fantastic sex ever until her Doberman took an interest in what we were doing. There was nothing more terrifying then feeling warm dog breath on my ballsack.
It was odd. His friends dick tasted the same as his. Friends are beginning to have to much in common
My brother just woke up to see me on te couch dipping hamburger buns into pizza sauce. I'm beginning to question the life choices that led to this moment.
just saw someone in just a bathrobe not even tied shut run to the bathroom with a facefull of cum. Someone had a good night
hungover at the ER to get half my contact removed from behind my eye. Not the start to the weekend I was hopin for
I should start an etsy shop with all the jewelry and clothes women leave at my house
I am currently watching him baptize himself in a baby pool with a handle of belvedere while wearing a coral dress.
I want to have sex with him.
Sorry about the picture of wills balls via snapchat last night btw
Do you still speak french? one of two girls I woke up with only speaks french...
If you were more comfortable around gay men, then you too could get wasted at the gay dance club and go home with hot girls.
HahahahahaHAHAHAHAHAHAHA MY LIFE IS A CAUTIONARY TALE
She ripped her shorts off and yelled "VAGINA TIME!"
Dude I had my dad cock block me once
Randomize
