it turns out jennifers body is not good to beat off to. yeah its megan fox but when she pukes up blood = goodbye boner
Its like I was sleeping with a kid. His gum fell into my hair while sleeping and he just wanted to cuddle.
Just so you know swallowing does not help chest colds. Your Phd can suck my dick
My vag has a bald spot. That is so middle aged. Is this my midlife crisis?
Dude this deaf chick is totally hot, I just bought an apartment on boner ave
His balls are like really small, like dog sized balls. It was a weird discovery. Ever done a guy with dog sized balls?
I went from naked with lasts nights hookup to Ihop in 6 minutes flat
I think that's a new house record
What guy invites over a booty call, gets all naked and then when the real fun begins and a condom is needed, claims to not have one? And wears socks THE entire time?
Going overboard is basically 75% of my personality
I'm a gorgeous hot mess
Nothing like a dick pic from your fave ex to make you audibly exhale sadly.
If I could steal your goatee and hide it under my bed to keep your from wearing it, I would.
Humming the Indiana Jones theme song as my hand makes its way to his dick.
i'm trying not to stalk him on facebook
i gave in
Fucking hate kids. In particular I hate our kids.
It was like he was 23 all over again. Madness. I. was. so. scared.
Randomize
