my secret santa just gave me a pregency test
she said she didn't want to sleep with me again because I wasnt a generous lover. I ignored her slight moustache, didnt i? i think thats pretty damn generous
Give me a heads up the next time you BBM me a voicenote of you cumming so I'll make sure not to play it while in the car with my parents. Miss you too.
My poo smells like dog food. That's how I know it was a good night.
Of course I'm hard in the pics. If there's a chance that these pictures will cause a scandal later in my life I at least want my dick to look it's biggest
She just face-timed her mom and had her watch all of us toast to her grandmas tits..
Traveling before 21 and traveling after 21 are two different things. There's a whole nother world of red white and blue weird out there
Very impressive. My GPA is the same amount of orgasms I can offer tonight (valid only tonight): 3.5
this probably sounds so sketchy, but hes going to jail in a month so he needs a place to crash for now. Hes sick though, and hes paying half our rent
So it's national ass day?! I love October. No bra last Saturday and now ass day. This is my month. God is dedicating this October to me!
Reunion weekend was a success. Had 3 ex's inside my vag. Hat trick!
Just saw a dude take a shot in the parking lot in his car. Too early in the semester for that
Last night I made the hotel shuttle driver take me to Walgreens for birth control, and Pringles.
They were both high priority
There's no such thing as shame in your world, is there?
Drink. Fuck. Waffle House. Repeat.
Randomize
