i totally forgot about the coupon that said i would show him how i pleasure myself.
Lost is over, my longest committed relationship is coming to an end.
If I end up married to you I better get lots of orgasms to help me forget I failed at life.
Seriously, dude... You knows its bad when you gag on her nipple.
You used up your allotted blow job minutes for the month of April last night anyways
Throwing up in his bed is not a step up in your relationship
Power went out. She lit a candle and gave me head. Made some pretty impressive candlelight cocksucking shadowpuppets. Must be what porn was like in olden times.
I just...no. You make my soul cry. You are giving me karma-cancer. This torture of my majesticness can no longer be tolerated.
We inadvertently arrived at the strip club on Bear Night. The dancers all look like young Santa Claus and there's a buffet....
She rode my dick so hard I momentarily lost hearing. I guarantee I had the better St Patrick's.
I just wanna have sex and go to Denny's after is that too much to ask for.
I mean, I'm shallow, narcissistic, and selfish, but I'm an amazing friend sometimes
We had sex on the tiger blanket while I was wearing my Ukrainian shirt and my ass touched the Ukrainian flag. Happy 25th Ukraine!
Just a little drinking. So much fun and love. The world is a shiny wonderful sphere in the sky so why shouldn't we celebrate?
Gonna do a few lines then clean my room so I can feel like my life is somewhat in order.
Randomize
