sorry I missed your bday party.,I was vid chatting with that new guy I'm talking to all night...happy biirthday though
Just mADE A PArabola og urine
i want you to feel like i'm letting you into my heart, not just my vagina.
she's not even a shacker, she never made it inside. she's just a porch girl
Just met someone from Jersey. No fist pumps or jagerbombs. Kind of disappointed...
Oh my god it just tripped me out that I used to be a baby, I had to tell you.
i dont understand blimps. what would happen if they collided would they just bounce off or fall to the ground.
dude how high are you right now?
do you think jeeves would know? you do it. ask jeeves.
i woke up and the dog was eating spaghetti off my chest.
From the guy that lifted you into a fan I'm sorry
I was talking to another guy at the bar last night and all of a sudden a flying piece of Sausage lands on my boobs. Then I hear my boyfriend yell, "just marking my territory."
the only good thing about going home with him was that he was prettier than me.
All I remember is dance battling with a man named tom the entire time who kept buying me drinks so id say it was a success
you said you couldn't hang because you had to masturbate and feed your lizard
He hit me up on Grindr and called me "bro." I just have to assume that the sex is going to be bad.
its official, you're fucking me on my lunch break. the only thing I want in my mouth is your dick. pick me up at noon.
want fries with that?
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