I'd suck a dick for hot wings now. A metaphoric dick that is
I've been sucking dick for sushi for weeks now...hasn't worked yet :P
respond to me or i'm telling everyone that you inserted a vodka soaked tampon into your anus
ok, i just want to know who did it and which end it came out of
I just want to jump into a ballpool of dicks now.
I feel like I just tasted lung cancer.
I woke up this morning with a pop tart under my pillow with one bite eaten. Another pop tart was in the floor. No recollection whatsoever. I ate the one under my pillow for breakfast, though.
I'm getting better, this year I only showed up drunk to 1 final.
I just had sex in the men's bathroom of a Chinese buffet...
YOU ARE MY HERO
On the plus side, I know I'm allergic to latex now. Like really fucking allergic
in other news i got caramel vodka poured on me. upside, i smell amazing
I smoked my last bong as the sun rose. It was magical.
after what u told me last night I think we're past the wtf zone and at this point u should just join me in wondering if my barista lover is a gay porn star
He must be a special kind of stupid to cheat on a women who works at a funeral home. Does he not understand you can get rid of dead bodies easier than most Americans?
You took the glass microwave plate and said it was the closest thing to a frisbee, let me know how that works out for you
omg girl... i cut your hair last night. tell me it looks okay!? i saw hair on the counter and i said ohhh nooo
Randomize
