honestly, magaritas are the void men can't fill.
there's something so ridiculous to me about watching someone with glasses exercising. it's like watching a whore studying in the library. stop trying to be someone you're not.
Is it bad to go up to the security desk and ask them for the name of the guy I signed in last night? I have absolutley no clue
drunk me just left notes all around the apt to remind shitfaced me that i have mashed potatoes in the fridge. do not take them down if you come home before me.
it got awkward when the only couple not hooking up was just watching..
Mom just Facebook checked into an Applebees at 2am. Caption: ''WITH THE BESTIEZ.''
It took me 3 tries to get up the front steps. They kept me motivated by waving taco bell just out of my reach. Surprisingly effective.
The weekend is off to a good start: she just got into a verbal fight with a hobo. Nearly a fist fight.
New low: just got woken up by my 9 year old cousin throwing an empty at me and telling me to get my life together.
It's pathetic. My bed hasn't been this sexless since it was in bedmart.
He's hitting it raw. Might as well stick his dick in a vat of SARS at this point.
She's like the Jonah Hill of sorority sisters.
Question for you. Do you want to go out somewhere or do you want to have sloppy joes at my house? That's not a euphemism for anything; I actually have stuff to make sloppy joes
Things that don't wash off in the shower: black eyes and hickies.
That's it. I'm moving to LA & sitting on his face.
Randomize
