her nipple to breast ratio was just odd
the water pistols in the freezer are full of voddka.
at least the person I hooked up with donates to charity, the shirt I was wearing this morning was his relay for life shirt.
You wouldn't be the first friend to shit himself in the last 7 days
Went home drunk last night and peed on my Christmas tree, my mothers going to fucking kill me
don't mind me. just hanging out in this cool air conditioned Babies R Us until the liquor store next door opens.
When / where did the additional couches appear?
Additional?
James brought one with him when he showed up. Theres still 2 outside and according to facebook, at least one more burned up.
Cute boy and deffffff wearing a HS shirt. I am getting too old to be inaccurate.
he may or may not have motorboated me on the steps of the library of congress
he bit THROUGH my nipple
plus side, no need to pay for a piercing.
I was stretching naked in the middle of my room singing "Somewhere Over the Rainbow", apparently this is what I do when I'm high and the wifi goes out
When he breaks your heart after he reveals he's gay, I'll be there for you. -Love, Dad
Did I tell you about my dream that I got handed a $100 and my vagina dissolved it? I think it wants me to not be a whore anymore.
Look I'm really hungover so let's try this again. In 5 mins you're gonna call me and tell me that you're on your way with xannies, iced coffee and a back rub
Try me, you 5'5 gremlin
Randomize
