Girls don't like it when you cum inside them and then discuss baby names.
I realized today that I should stop thinking so much with my vagina instead of my brain.
Please tell me this doesn't mean another "surprise road trip" where I spend all my money on gas and the SURPRISE destination is the abortion clinic.
But what if I pay for the gas?
we fucked to don't stop believing. most epic sex EVER.
just had amazing sex with a girl I got caught with in second grade playing doctor. her examination is finallllly over
I drank mimosas and played bocce ball in the middle of finals week...now i know how Comm majors feel all the time.
They had some plan b on the table between the beer and the guacamole. Yeah, it's gonna be a fun party.
I don't know how, but he made a bong out of a hamster wheel. To say I am impressed is an understatement.
I feel like I should lick our pitcher just so everyone knows its ours
Sometimes when I see a shoe on the side of the road, I get a little depressed that I've never partied that hard.
My brother slept till 4, bought a sword, got drunk and sharpened said sword. I went to corporate compliance training. Life is not fair.
I wanna fuck that hideous moustache right off your face. get the confetti ready for the festivities
Sorry i vommed in a cup next to u w out warning.. Actually im not that sorry cuz i didn't spill a drop LIKE A PRO
I just Miyagied my roommate through her first set of tit pics. Her fuck buddy owes me.
You know you're high when, "Why can't I steal the duck?!" Becomes a serious question.
Very interesting. Let's just say I got home last night and threw up, found a joint in my bra, and woke up naked in my bed
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