Bar. Show boob. Just one. Free drinks. Instant friends
Guys only need one. Little known secret. You're welcome.
Well, shes famous, an alcoholic, hillarious, and has big boobs.... Pretty much my only aspirations in life.
how do i word it so it doesnt sound like im asking him if he has ever been in jail.
I'm hard boiling eggs, drinking rum, and talking to my 8 year old brother about the 10's times tables. This is what thursday is all about.
Romer got arrested for getting in a bar fight with a bus boy because he was trying to steal a keg, had it all the way to the car
I've started making all these amazing things...like bananas rolled in doritos..bandritos.
Bible prof is the guy I made out with at the gay bar on the fourth. He doesn't remember.
The couple that wants to take me home just paid the bartender $100 to pour tequila down my throat. I think I'm in some type of twilight zone where stds run rampant and the alcohol floweth
Annabeth just got on the bar and slurred something about how she was worried that when she started dating you your penis wouldnt fit. You are one lucky bastard my friend.
totally just stole a 24 pack straight out of the miller truck
You left a bit of molly on the table and my mom found it. She asked what it was, I said "not drugs"
She believed me because "leaving that much behind on the table would be a waste so obviously it's not drugs."
I mayyyyy have moaned a name that wasn't his
I haven't answered because I haven't figured out a polite way of saying fuck no
I can’t tonight. I’ve got to see about a penis
The sex was so good we high-fived after.
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