I just saw a girl play flip cup with only her tongue
I'm in love
Funniest shit happened at the grocery store. This kid kept asking his mom for candy over and over and she told him 'daddy said no' and he screamed 'he isn't my dad' so loud everyone in the store was silent it was awesome.
If I would have known that wiping my dick on her pillow would have caused her to leave........
White boys cant dance....we did an empirical study
So I was just looking through the calendar on my phone seeing what day new years was on & on dec 31st at 9am it says "nude champagne toast". Guess we have to do it.
You better be watching. There will be a POP quiz. Each correct answer gains you 5 more minutes of the sexual act of your choice
On the bright side I still get a $20 referral bonus at the plasma center even though he passed out during donation because he was so high.
This santa hat i wore to the bar, served it's dual purpose as a vomit bag.
I think it's safe to say taking shots on the way to the emergency room was rock bottom. We're going to need to think of ways to top that between now and next new years eve...
A guy at one of our big accounts just said you probably dont remember meeting me saturday night ps you were right about those two girls being lesbian
Its a cash in stratch tickets to afford cigarettes and coffee kind of friday
I found my weird threshold when Truth or Dare became everyone get naked and snort Adderall off the kitchen counter.
as much as I don't like snorting drugs, I would totally be fine with someone doing a line off my ass. that's just a whole new up
This guy needs to stop asking about my feet
She just. Cock slapped me. With string cheese.
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