I cant take that shot because i want my penis to stay hard.
and the mascot is a pinecone. its really no surprise that people here dont get laid
they had a keg party to fund her abortion.
I am far too drunk to be making a tuna melt . There's blood EVERYWHERE.
there needs to be a build-a-bong store...
She can't really be mad at me. I made you two sisters... Dick sisters.
The gym is handing out free condoms this week, motivation to work out this week?
Hung over. Bed full of legos for some reason. Not getting up. Come build stuff with me.
He has a lot of emotional energy invested in your vagina.
Got laid in my rudolph onesie for the second year in a row. New tradition? Absolutely.
Friend as in 'I used to have sex with her' or friend as in 'I still want to have sex with her'?
I woke up this morning wearing his boxers as a shirt
Took my plan b at Costco today, sample Sunday for the win.
He's nice to look at and knows the difference between your and you're. I win.
You know that episode of Spongebob where Patrick teaches Spongebob to be fancy? His dick was like that, only fancier.
Randomize
