I was so high I couldn't tell if they were goosebumps or herpes.
He said his penis was a 1 woman penis with a conscience an I was that woman...technically a declaration of commitment rite?
Eye surgery went well. Just can't believe it took getting lasers through my eyes to temporarily stop the vivid sex dreams I was having
This medicine is making me nuts. I just woke up and I thought I was in a glass case with Asians staring at me.
"Where are you? Where are my keys? What is this guys name again? Why am I wearing two pairs of your pants?"
I'll pass on that plan. The lack of my penis in new vaginas is no where on the itinerary.
I'm so jealous of your sex life. You know it's awesome when thinking about the sex you had last night brings you tears of joy.
It reeks of weed and poor life decisions in here
He was so high he started playing Twister on the striped rug. Then when we missed midnight he went on a screaming rampage about his New Year's Eve being meaningless. How do you think it went?
This hangover is what we deserve after that level of debauchery.
It's been 12 hours since I have heard from you and social media has given me no indication you are anything but dead, so that's what I'm going with.
You can get gift cards to the liquor store! This changes everything.
I'm officially removing you from my nudes recipient list on snapchat.
I'm not sure if 14 year old me would be disappointed or proud that I fucked him behind her middle school??
Youre saying I should leave him? Have you seen the dating pool these days? It's terrifying, and in the capital region it's straight Norman Bates
Randomize
