It wasn't until i was on my knees with three dicks in my face that i thought it might be a bad idea
She tried catching cigarette ashes on her tongue like snowflakes.
I just found scrambled eggs in my shower. Thanks for that, asshole.
He taught me where the gears in a five speed are with his penis.
Please, take the 2 shots of vodka that I left as an apologie.
I ate all his french fries. He was no longer useful to me.
She wants to go as a facebook "like" for halloween, but right now her costume looks more like the hamburger helper hand with broken fingers.
did you see me getting spanked by that lady cop who was a guy?
My condoms might be a little big for you but hey, a big sweater is better than no sweater at all when it's cold right?
You were drunk it couldn't have been that bad
I've never been drunk enough to enjoy getting a blister on my dick.
The inflatable penis from those pics was mine... We broke him that night
You're going to love the baby's room.
I doubt it. I can't have sex there anymore. That severely limits the appeal of the room to me.
The logic in me says "don't text him" .But the vagina in me says "text him".
So, 'head before the store' turned into a fuck fest, & that's how I ended up at the grocery store smelling like a cum farm on Black Friday. How's your weekend?
I don't know what it is about this quarantine, but I have never written this much smutty fanfic in my life and I am loving it!
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