dude just tell them you don't wear clothes. they'll understand
i wanna make it FB official so he cant fuck anyone else. but that means i can't fuck anyone else either. CONUNDRUM
Now there are two cop cars. If I go to jail I just would like to thank you for making me wear boxers.
Woke up this morning on my couch at 6am fully dressed including heels, holding half a corn dog. I called you last night when I was buying the corn dog from a street vendor, I think.
I am in love with you.
Why is there not a 'day after acid' genre. Or even a pandora station or something.
Tried to eat a chip. Mouth wouldn't cooperate. Nearly died. Wow I've missed this.
I don't think he understands the importance of corndogs. Or condoms for that matter.
she hid the dish soap because she was afraid someone would confuse it with the margaritas and drink it instead. her reasoning was "theyre both soo pink...i cant tell them apart"
I was running around taking people's drinks at the bar and just dumping it into my Gatorade bottle screaming roofies.
I just call them the hipster frat because they wear shirts other than pastel polos and listen to MGMT while playing dice.
I'm pretty sure I have enough material at this point to start a blog called Guys I've Banged in Pictures together. Why does this keep happening to me!
Directions to your booty call: go down the part of Route 66 that has all the car dealerships, motels and bad decisions, go past the Christian college and turn left at the Children's Center.
she's sitting there like the lesbian godfather. A cigarette in one hand and a titty in the other.
There is a special place in hell for people who only eat the center of the pot brownies.
There was puke outside of my classroom and lecture was half empty. Damn thirsty thursday is intense
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