dude i woke up to 20 missed calls from you, 3 from a blocked number and had 13 voicemails that all said "send me a picture of your tits."
so im guessing thats a no.....
He is an equal opportunity slut.
I drove to Chevron at noon and the Hatian lady goes "Oh, nothing to drink yet white boy?"
There's a 35% chance I'm still residually drunk from last night.
And you say you're not good with numbers...
Did she owns a vibrator that will set off seismic activity.
How bad is it I'm looking at his cock while waiting to see my therapist?
We kind of broke a table making out. So yes, I'd say it was successful.
I got the job! The hiring manager is the sister of a guy I slept with so its like I'm a real adult now
No. You're getting a Viking funeral and I'm pawning your shit.
If I'm going to keep blacking out this much I need to start taking more pictures.
I'm telling you, this vagina is really making the rounds lately...
It started getting weird when you decided to scold my vagina.
YOU ARE STRONGER THAN YOUR VAGINA
One minute we're singing Wagon Wheel, and the next you're belly dancing in a trash bag on the beer pong table
How was the tequila? Are you making bad decisions yet?
Randomize
