hide the guitars, Nate just learned to play free fallin'
no memory loss, but i'm unhappy with my memories
Nothing says "I forgive you for puking on me during sex" like a Facebook add the next morning...
I was riding her and she yelled "fuck me" then someone in the room next door yelled "you don't have to say it if youre doing it."
I'm doing laundry from this weekend.. That poor shirt I wore to the rave smells like a dead animal that rolled in weed and pain..
Dude, the lecture theatre is caving in on me.
She said you told her you were ready to be a dad. We just got back from our purchase of the morning after pill. That took me 2 hours of convincing. No more fucking my sister.
1. Thanks. 2. No.
I thought adderall would sober me up, but it did NOT.
We got a noise complaint for vacuuming too much but not for getting really high and yelling about peanut butter
drinks after work?
that question mark offends me.
You know it's time to call it a night when every guy in the bar (all 3 of them) have seen you naked at one time or another.
I asked him to get me another beer, and he started making muffins.
This weekend was amazing, 4 confirmed pukings, 2 cops, 3 hookers, one photographed t-bagging of the groom, and a night in an illegal gambling house.
I love you.
Bad choice
Your Saturday night was spent at the opera, mine was spent exchanging naked pics with a hot middle aged man that is so ripped that he looks like he's photoshopped. This is why we're blood sisters. We balance each other out.
I hate you so hard.
Randomize
