Are u religion class? I'm on my way, I have cum in my hair. tell u later.
moral of the story: I'm going to stab everyone
Bring booze and chicks. Separate, or one already in the other. Your call.
I just woke up in my closet, wearing a pink cowboy hat and a pink thong...
I want my thong back.
I hate you tequila.
Its the little things i like about bein home like having actual toilet paper instead of subway napkins
I lost count after the 4th body shot but I think I'm wearing at least 3 different peoples clothes.
his teacher called to say he gave a girl on the playground a rock to touch his penis. proudest moment of my fatherhood
I think I've just evolved into some kind of vodka fueled monster
Soo I woke up in the storage room at best western....I dont even know what say
You sternly pointed at him and declared that you would ride his cock until the early dawn.
Then, you ate a turkey sub, went into his room
I'm ready to get married, then we can lie around watching anime and eating pizza while he rubs baby oil on me
At least I got steroids and a baguette out of the deal
Open the door and I will lure them out to freedom with viagra and candy orange slices. You know they love that shit.
I have rug burns on my nipples. Thanks for being an awesome wing girl.
i was sitting on the kitchen floor shaking my gallon of vodka at people and asking if they wanted to climb the heaven hill... getting dumped is the best thing that has ever happend to me
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