You guys coming?
We are smoking out the bouncer? But after that sure
He slapped my ass and hummed the jello theme song, which was followed by an overly loud "IT'S ALIVE!"
I saw a seagull swallow a hot-dog whole today, it reminded me of you.
As I was going down on her I noticed she had a tatoo on her inner thigh that said "Eat it like your birthday cake".
I just remember thinking that if i ran really fast through the house, no one would notice i was naked.
You didn't even properly utilize my pigtails.
Oh my god I forgot there were Band-Aids on my nipples
If making out with three guys at once at a Kesha concert while simultaneously smearing glitter all over yourself doesn't convince her you're gay, nothing will
It has moved into the cliche "thin line between love and hate" real quick. With her. Not Taco Bell.
Amnesty Wednesday? I'm free to do dirty things to you and you can't laugh or judge?
Successfully defrauded the county government. What have you done today?
I'm slowly starting to accept that you have to be a sociopath to be attracted to me
We watched X-Files, ate pizza, and he played with my butt. It was a pretty standard Monday.
I was so drunk I got motion sickness from sex.
He cut off part of his middle finger playing the knife game while singing The Knife Game Song at the top of his lungs. He also scream like a girl when his finger hit the floor and he realized he fucked up.
Randomize
