Some man just said he would jack off to my hair color.
Game over. He has a paternity test request on his table.
they named it eva bongoria. i had to hit it based on the name alone.
Just got booked to do a bachelorette party for a polygamist wedding. And notice I only text you to rub things in your face and show you my life shits on yours. Daily.
the party we were at had security guards carrying paintball guns. that probably should have been the first sign
I made her orgasm until she cried. Four years of only having sex with dudes and I've still got it.
They were swingers. Real swingers. Thought it was going to be awesome until some fat guy tried to put my dick in his mouth.
i just tried to use a string cheese as a light source
The band last night was really good
That was definitely karaoke. Guess that answers my follow up question on how drunk you were.
I just got high off one hit and the. Spent 20 minutes inspecting the gasket of our refridgerator and researching ways to replace it
On another note- any interest in going to a gay bar to hit on 19yr olds?
He started yelling "you tha man!" while I was reverse cowgirl
We can't do acid Disneyworld.
STOP TRYING TO FUCK MY DAD
THE HOT GUY IS YOUR DAD?!?!?!?!???
Yeah ok. We can maid of honor each other since you don't like my boobs enough to lesbian marry me
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