I just had my first uncircumcised penis. I kept staring at it like the foreskin was going to fall off on its own.
Flying into Chicago for a few days, getting re-deployed in September, we should probably fuck
Kristina got the same text from you just now, she's sitting next to me, how many people did you send this to?
i just want his dick, seriously i'm about to take trifiling lessons. we'll call my alter-ego blair and she will screw his brains out, girlfriend or not.
I just saw a girl make a shank with the underwire in her bra...
Well, that's a 3 inch weight lifted off of my vagina
She just gave me a free latte.
Correction. She just have you a frothy, creamy path to that vagina.
I don't care how fucking drunk you are, you don't forget wanting to shove a wine bottle up someone's ass.
I also like to call Halloween "Mystery Fuck Day"
Pretending to be completely fried so the odd girl next to me doesnt suspect im simply staring at her.
At this point, just throw that mattresses away. Or bronze it and display it as a testament to your shame. either is good.
He threw me over his shoulder and carried me outside, all the while drinking from the bottle of rum he was holding, while my ex watched. I'm winning the break-up.
I never imagine I'd say this, but can I ask Jeff for the butt plugs back even though it was a gift and we broke up?
I've got five complains from the landlord about she being too loud during sex in two weeks I'm marrying her
I wish I was there so i could bitch slap his incredibly sexy face
I'm sorry, but if I hear stories of you getting fingered in the ass, and selling weed, you are not coming to my party.
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