I heard some girl say 'yeah he mustve been so drunk he kept mumbling and repeating himself'
And I thought
Fuck I do that shit every weekend
WTF. you left me with no condoms and you ate all my mac and cheese. scumbag.
my tampon string is in my asshole... do you think i can get it out without anyone noticing?
i'd get off the bar first.
No, he will live forever, like cockroaches and Jack Bauer.
spring break forecast: sunny with a chance of shitshow
better to have posed nude and lost than to never have posed nude at all...thats what i always say
He had a beer bottle in each of his back pockets and was on rollerblades. All I remember is following him for about 10 minutes
Just found a bag of weed nailed to the door that my dealer dropped off since I wasn't home. God I love Boulder.
We are getting high tomorrow and being statues at the cafeteria. Come find us.
you pulled down your pants to convince a girl you were god
dont eat that thats our sex nutella.
Could we try to replay the decision making process whereby only you and I bought and drank a keg this weekend? Because there were some fundamental flaws!
I sent her a video on Snapchat of me cumming, with a Father's Day snap filter that said "#1 Dad".
we can no longer cook chicken in the house. his name is herbert, we are keeping him and can not eat his people in front of him.
What part of the grouping of the words "anal beads" confuses you?
Randomize
