she pooed on me. she actually pooed on me.
Didn't tell him I was on my period. Then had to surreptitiously remove some uterine lining from his cock.
Even water is tasting like jack daniels
he's listed in a fb relationship with a girl born in 1993. i'm too drunk to do the math on that one, but i am sober enough to know that's illegal
She fucking ripped my chandelier out of my ceiling. How does that make her a keeper?
How can he have such a manly penis and baby hands?!
I am ina trunk. Iam in a trunnnnnjkk. I hope its yours. Oh manomanomano. Thids better be your trunk
Not sure if it is a new high or new low, but i left a basket on the porch of the sorority I woke up at. It had a description of the Minnie Mouse I woke up next to, and Plan B.
BOOTY CALL IN EFFECT, BOOTY CALL IN PROCESS, BOOTY CALL ACCEPTED, AND BOOTY CALL INITIATES FRIDAY NIGHT.
Turns out I sent a dick pic to my sister's ex. Grindr is the devil's eharmony.
She stumbled into class and Google image searched nipple piercings for the entire 75 minutes
Well its official, I'm into significantly freakier sex than even I thought possible.
Her rack rivals that of the deer I shot last season. You need to get after that.
I guess you know it was a good night when you find your ripped underwear in your pocket, and a nerf bullet falls out of your pant leg 😂😂
woke up between a girl's legs. make your own conclusion.
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