I need a slap back to reality. Or at least a slap back to homosexuality
i just renamed my vag "the sorting hat"
walk of shame with early morning football tailgaters. niice.
he breathalyzed me before we had sex.
He's engaged. If the world's smallest penis can find true love than I can too.
You had a hot dog outside the bar then made me stop at McDonald's for a double quarter pounder. I'd say you've more than filled your drunken meat quota.
So much to do, haven't done anything except hook up with sailors and work on my tan.
I think she finds the idea of a naked fat man lying on the table and holding our butter offensive
Well I mean he is in a slightly seductive pose
exhale infront of a fan. self shotgun.
seriously though if NH has the largest penis size... the rest of America must be very disappointed.
And I'm bringing my coffee cup of wine.
This is my life. Enjoy the view
being serenaded is actually kind of awkward 2/10 do not reccommend
I almost rear ended this hot guy driving a Porsche Cayenne just so I could get his phone number
Today is a good day to get high. It's easy to blame the glazed-over look in my eye on my new contacts
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