please tell me I'm in your upstairs bedroom. Just google mapped myself and I have no idea where I am.
I just saw a neon sign in a bar window that says, "open to Public" but the L is burnt out.
Its like everytime i see you, my vagina gets a heartbeat.
As a side note, my abs are sore. Most likely cause? Orgasms. Thank you.
the cop cuffed us all with 40's still taped to our hands
Making and watching you take a mixed shot with vodka, chocolate syrup, tobasco sauce, cranberry juice, and sundried tomato juice wasnt the highlite of my night. Hearing you puking from downstairs was.
I had 5 long islands and 2 alien brain hemorrhages…I am entirely certain that the "power hour to finish the night" idea was just too much.
Im not coming back to that place until im drunk. If I walk in there sober Ill start screaming uncontrollably. Not words, just sounds.
Thanks for getting me stoned. My manager started quizzing me about the menu and I struggled until he asked me to describe the tortilla soup. I said "tasty"
Drinking and pointing where stuff needs to go is hard stuff.
Let me get this straight, you're telling me to lower my standards? Even though last week you told me I don't have any..?
Gotta get new sheets. ..I fucked the satin off mine.
Though I do have to question why i found you and my brother passed out on his bedroom floor, no clothing between you except his tie wrapped around your dick
JUST DENIED A NEW YEARS KISS BECAUSE HE WAS A COWBOYS FAN.
My brother is so high right now he's eating frozen peas and called them "fucking delightful"
Randomize
