Her life has all the ingredients for a how to book: Making Your Life an Epic Fail
I woke up in my girlfriends bed with another guy laying next to me. wtf.
I think he'd cut a tree down for me. He's from North Dakota. That's something hot guys do there, right?
i could have sworn she did an overextended split with her legs over her head but now i think it was just the drugs
Ugh. my cast still smells like fermenting hot tub water and bad decisions.
Cats found the secret coke stash again
They owe us $80.
And then he posed under the bed and said, "you should draw me like one of your french girls." Why do they keep giving this kid drugs?
You should have hard cock pics on hand to send in the situation that you can't stop driving, pull out your cock, browse the countless pics I've sent you of my tits, get him hard and text a pic through. I mean, it's simple sexting ettiquette.
Well the streets were closed, so it was okay for me to just lay down for a little bit.
How bad would it be if I wore out the dress we got peed on in. You're the only one who knows.
Am I a bad person for getting my ex to DD me and a random hookup home last night?
Dying on my bathroom floor at 7 am, I would rather be eaten by a shark right now
Last night someone asked you what your favorite color was and you said "bagel."
So what you're saying is that The Magic Kingdom is ruining our plans to get laid?
I canceled a date last night to eat pop tarts and go to bed early
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