I just had to sit down with an 11 year old who threatened to dick slap a girl.
you know that annoying kid in my psych class? accidentally hit him in the face with a door today. perfect end to the semester.
She helped me organize my comics and then blew me. This is the one.
I woke up to her vacumming the grass
I hope he doesn't find the chex mix when he takes my shirt off.
You know its been a rough night when for a large portion of the evening you have accepted your death
He put himself in the friend zone by calling me dude all night so I blew his friend. Judge me.
if any part of your body has ever entered my vagina you are fucking obligated to speak to me if i so desire
Trying to coordinate a drug deal while taking a psych test is not easy.
I thought it was improvement but then i realized sex isn't an emotion and I hate everyone
you just have the mind of an innocent, non-tainted child.
YOU KNOW THAT'S BULLSHIT BECAUSE YOU'RE THE REASON IT'S BULLSHIT
IM FILLED WITH SANDWICHES AND SELF LOATHING
I just punched myself in the vagina to prove a point. Please pray for me.
Just shaved my balls on a moving train. By far the most dangerous stunt I've ever pulled
Car sex in a public place. Boo ya.
Randomize
