She told me she only masterbates to Kenny Rogers songs.
OMG. What did u say?
I told her I did too.
My birthing hips are way to big to be around all these juveniles.
I will make out with the first guy who tries to pick me up with a lyric from a rap song. I won't even reply, just be on him like whoa.
you made your cat watch a peta video with you, so you could show it how just how good its life is
she insisted that i refer to her boobs by name.
4pm on a Sunday....roomate fucking like a wildabeast while I have a organic chemistry study group in my kitchen.
It's 5:30am in Vegas and I'm eating McDondalds next to crying prostitutes.....low point.
Well, let me tell you, it was the most vivid sex dream I've ever had. More so than the Paris Hilton one I had in 05. And about as weird.
I assume it was your influence that had me go from DD to waking up out on the deck with one eyebrow shaved off??
Vaginas creep me out. I'm disgusted by the look of them. I wonder if this is what having an ugly baby is like: you have to take care of it and love it but it just hurts you on the inside to look at it.
I think we should roll her a welcome back, sorry your godmom's on life support blunt.
You kept trying to make people drink "salsa-ritas." But all you did was dump tequila in a half full jar of salsa, and shove it in people's faces while shouting at them.
My dick looks like crazy bread
pics are now mandatory
He just showed up on my porch naked with just a blanket and a trash bag
My VP dropped me off at the Strip Club in Houston. Just said "I was never here".
Randomize
