You and i never got to the, we dont care what we look like friend-stage. you know? like not brushing your teeth stage.
sorry im really high
"Students using Axe body spray to light selves on fire" is a real headline from a real newspaper. WHY AREN'T WE DOING THIS RIGHT NOW?
I left two hundred in singles in your car sorry about the mess
I am a human short and spout . Here is my jager Herr is my redbull . When i get real drink i shout out. Tip me over and pour yeager out
Cause your way of greeting people at the club was grabbing a tit and jiggling it while yelling a name, which usually wasn't theirs, and guys weren't safe either.
I'm at about main and main street
If you like her enough, bring her with. If not, eloquently cunt punt that bitch through the field goals of life.
So. Do you think marshmallow vodka in hot chocolate while eating a graham cracker would = s'mores?
In some strange universe, yes
I'm assuming the reason my elbow is so sore has something to do with all the broken shot glasses eh?
Yep
Why do you have an empty bottle of port in your bathroom bin?
We're doing a team debriefing of Saturday night in group text right now. As 75% of the female presence at that party we saw some shit.
Nate is still in lock up because when the cop informed me he'd shit his pants in the squad car I declined to post bail.
Can you come over?
Sex??
Sure but there’s also a squirrel in my garage I need you to take care of.
Fuck you bitch. You're married. You got a live-in dick at home for your needs. I still gotta surf this shitty town's bars for cock
About that photo of the cake you just sent. You do realize it’s on a glass table, right? We can all see your reflection in it, and you’re very obviously naked.
Randomize
