Can I come over?
Can't... I'm at class right now.
No your not
I'm outside by your car.
Don't pass out before midnight like you did last year. See how much your year sucked
Sonogram pictures belong on a fucking fridge...NOT FACEBOOK!!
she went to her friend's wedding and caught the bouquet. as the unwilling rebound, can i run away now?
Just woke up to my stoned boyfriend building a shrine around my bare ass. He'll never leave me.
$1 margaritas. This happy hour needs to end.
You said, "can you make out with him for a little bit, I need a break."
I'm doing blow on my fuzzy rug
Come join me
It was so cute that he apologized for getting cum on my couch. If he realized how many guys had cum on that couch in the past year, he wouldn't have touched my vagina with a 10-ft pole.
At one point during xmas dinner my whole family was double fisting. It was like thats how I learned to drink moment
I woke up to realize my keys were on the front porch. Also so was I. So close yet so far
Her hookup left his underwear and shorts in the dorm last night... What he was wearing when he left, we may never know.
I mean, it's just pathetic when the standard is tinder and he can't live up to it.
I woke up in a cornfield to shouting, a bottle of Jim Beam, and a bunch of mc muffins. If this doesn't scream Illinois, idk what does.
Well, I have no idea where my underwear is, so yea I would say it was a good weekend.
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