Totally saw a hot amputee. I think this is called character growth.
I think the best way to start out any day is to watch 80's music videos. It's like visual wheaties.
you were having sex in the bathroom so i pee'd in your bong water...
Thats two for two birthdays where I've gotten the "alcoholism runs in the family" speech
At least it earned you a couple drinks. And something tells me you've touched grosser things with less incentive.
asked the girl next to us on line to take a picture of us and she shared her bacardi. i love white people.
A girl pulled up next to me at a stoplight just now, looked around for a second, and then changed her top, bra and all, before the light turned green. New. Hero.
Ya I guess if we compared our actions now with our actions 2 years ago. We are definitely in a constant state of shit showness.
if drunk means calling me and asking to borrow the game of life at 2am then I think you were drunk
in other news, i feel like i just shat out all my sins.
I can't name a single part of my body that isn't sore. Who says break up sex is bad sex?
I can't help that I bring out the sex in people
I'm going as your incestuous sister. If thats not the perfect winglady I don't know what is.
You were more fun when you didn't have morals.
"Offered to eat Froot Loops out of my belly button" drunk. Thats how drunk.
Randomize
