btw.sex in the wood isnt as romantic as it seems.heels kept sinking in the dirt and pine needles were sticking to the fishnets
i wish i had your life
He's engaged. If the world's smallest penis can find true love than I can too.
1 I really miss college walks of shame 2 I think I may have killed this girls cat
well you decided to make everyone "drinks" which was sprite and beer mixed.
Srsly this has gone to far. Just broke my nose on the toilet. College bars.
she's using motion activated glade air fresheners as some sort of early warning system
It's embarrassing enough people in my life are aware of the ridiculous things that happen to me. I don't think we need to get the whole world involved.
Until they make a bed that bathes you in your sleep, I will not be satisfied.
I just spent my entire state tax return on sex toys
I can't tell if my bong is gender-neutral or not
We accept all of your sexual lovers, Jewish, episcopalian, atheist. Dick is dick
fuck off. It's 10am and I'm drink gin and ginger ale through a twizzler straw. My life is marvellous
I was supremely disappointed in the lack of dick and doughnuts in my life last week.
I just found weed in my bra #magicboobs2k16
I had to explain to an ER nurse that I burned my dick playing onion ring toss today, your social awkwardness hardly compares.
Randomize
