his roommates stood outside the locked door reading bible verses to us the whole time...
I just found out you can file for divorce online. I love America.
I thought that since they were twins... they would be equally as good in bed
Ok, so for future reference, in Rome, "piano bar" means "brothel".
We found him. 8 blocks away from the bars and almost at his parent's house. On the verge of tears.
$5 long island pitchers = roommate pissing on his laptop at 3am.
I'm riding shot gun after Shawn took a dump in a happy meal box because we were making record time.
Oh, and I'm only keeping her around till spring. Doing the hunt for cunt is too tough in 12" of snow.
Is there a reason there's a dick print on my seventh-story window?
We can stop fighting if you send me a picture of your dick standing at full attention wearing a sock.
I'll wait.
It can also be a hat.
I have to pee in a cup in the morning and they are going to say....you just peed a miller light. I'm going to hang my head in shame and say yes...yes I did.
She brought me back a blanket from Mexico, then we had sex on it
Yeah I mean I think I need to stop living off of snacks and alcohol
I had mediocre parking lot sex last night so the night wasn't a complete bust.
Why did I wake up naked with a leg cramp and and extra $550 in my wallet?
Randomize
