i miss you so much
i miss you too
oops, did i send that to you? i meant to send it to the money you owe me
I have a pretty basic diameter of my vaginal abyss. I'm sure it won't hurt.
i hope not, i just know that at one point I was sitting on the bathroom floor eating bugles and crying because i had no one to show that it looked like I had witch nails when i stuck them on the ends of all ofmy fingers.
Im sweating champagne and woke up in nothing but a tuxedo jacket. What didnt go wrong last night?
She took the bride and groom figures and the top layer of their cake and tried to walk out of the reception with it in her purse.
Left and drinking by a bar by myself. Everyone is in pajamas. I'm in a tuxedo. This is my life.
You don't seem to appreciate the rareness of his junk.
Send me a picture. I'm more of a visual learner.
Yeah. Let's save our goodbyes for when I'm obnoxiously and embarrassingly drunk and more than likely naked.
I just fucked her in her boyfriends bathroom... he was in the room sleeping.
I woke wondering who the hell was in my bed. Then i felt boobs and remembered Haha. Thirsty Thursday killed my liver and my homosexuality
You whispered 'For Frodo', handed me your shirt, and charged campus security.
i just woke up on the desk in his dorm with him snoring in my vagina. better than last week waking up to a different guy puking on my bare ass i guess.
Plan b and 5 hour enegery breakfast of a champion
Well the cops were called after the kid fell, but we saw 4 cute guys from our window while it was going down, so it wasn't all that bad.
I miss the pre Covid days when we could meet men in bars. Hitting on guys in the grocery store is just depressing
Randomize
