he wont speak to me right now because i told him it must suck knowing he'll never be as good as edward cullen..idiot.
hes so high that he's convinced hes a duck. hes squating in the bathtub quacking. that was NOT JUST pot.
I mean, keeping the tube socks on AND taking cell phone pictures that he didn't ask for during sex? that's two strikes kiddo.
All I had with a note saying that my shoes are in the ceiling and good luck.
I kind of feel like BP. I'm dressed in green and absolutely horrible for the environment.
I wish I could but I can't. No beer pong or sex on a hammock...such an unproductive weekend
I suggest absurd amounts of masturbation this weekend to build up the necessary calluses
I feel like I should have backed off when "I love you" came out on the third date. Now I'm in her bed wondering which door my shrine is behind. Fuck.
How was my night? He had a picture of his mom on his night stand and he yelled "Papi like" when he came. Fuck tequila.
She bit my shoulder during foreplay last night, and it's already infected. I think she has rabies.
Ice cream and condoms, solid grocery store trip
I fully support your bad decision but I do not approve of your unironic use of the word yolo
You know it's really hard to draft fantasy football players in a crowded bar when I have a raging hard on
so then the cop took one last hit off our blunt and then drove off in his car and we just all stood there thinking, yea... that just happened...
You guys do the cocaine and I'll do the dishes.
Randomize
