Don't bone anyone, just think of ur vibrator lol
HHaaaaaaaaa mmmmn vibrator
I bought a boat. Want to have sex on The Angry Clam? That's what I named it.
Haha dude youd die if you were here. Girl presenting is defending the new testament and did her report on JESUS. best believe i'm gonna ask some hungover, atheist ass questions
i decided not to call her again when she started singing "goodbye my lover" as i was walking out the door..
I just went to a subway where the girl didn't know how to make a blt. I will not miss public school texans.
People are handing out olympic condoms downtown, just put it on and it broke, this is how there trying to raise the population. Very sneaky canadian government, very sneaky
"Not only do I bring a guy back to my hotel room....But I bring one back for my friend who's passed out drunk. Now that's what we call BESTfriends"
So apparently after he gets hammered, falls down a set of stairs and gets a concussion, he can still come home and find a way to play his guitar solo bullshit as loud as possible while i seduce my date...
You would think that someone would have been sober enough to object to vodka bong races.
She texted me shhh....im drunk, secret booty call...how could i say no?
He tried to take a picture of me naked but only got my ass. I don't know his name but if my butt is a guys wallpaper, that's the one I boned.
She made this little rubber cap thing that looks like a brain to go on my dick. She calls it a "penis cap". Industrial design students are weird...
Hurry up I'm getting mooned by a hobo
sarahs drunk and is drawing dinosaurs all over the apartment. should i stop her?
whats she drawing them with?
eyeliner
no that's ok
The lady at the liquor store in my hometown just gave ran around the corner and gave me a hug when I came back from being gone for a couple months. My life is complete.
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