Let's just say there is a bloody hand print above my bed and it's not mine. Literally.
I finally had sex with him last night, but we used a condom so it doesn't add to my number of sexual partners.
i called her out for picking her nose in public and he still wonders why i don't like her!
is it customary for a bride to wear white even if she's a whore? i feel tie-dye would have been more accurate
Just found out for my occult lit class (history of cults) final project is making a spellbook. Hello last term of college.
I didnt believe in cockblocking untill my roomate brought home that.
dont worry, it'll just be a conversation starter like "why did you get that pierced?" or "wow, i got arrested there too"
3 things I learned last night: 1.) I'm not as light as I used to be. 2.) Sex on the roof of a convertible is a really bad idea. 3.) The hospital now has super glue pens for sealing minor cuts instead of stitches!
I haven't seen him since I gave him a hand job in the hospital. I like to think I contributed to his speedy recovery.
Apparently he crashed because 3 different girls were trying to give him road head at the same time.
I realized I was totally the dude in that hook up. I came first and didn't wanna help him finish. And he had paisley sheets.
no, I didn't go in the end. Too hungover and hot, plus Star Wars is on so obviously I'm having a naked day.
I just wish he'd leave so I can vomit in peace.
I told him I was ready for another round and he said, "after this part." What guy chooses James Bond over pussy?!
By the time we got to McDonald's you were sharing a Big Mac with a stripper.
Randomize
