do you remember what downloading porn with a 14k modem was like?
just had a dream there were parent teacher conferences in college...scariest dream ever.
I don't like finding out that my fuck buddy is a good person.
I just reached for my seatbelt when I sat down to pee... Might be a little hungover.
he suggested we do it doggy style cuz it was his dead dogs birthday...i had to do it
You know it is an interesting night when the 911 operator calls you
I just read through our messages from yesterday and realized we both referred to me tearing my penis as a good thing. What the fuck.
Remind me in the morning that I've now seen a guy do crack. That actually happened. I'm at the wrong party.
Fun thought: I realized the thing I miss most about him is dixie kong's double trouble on his super Nintendo. It's possible that I don't have a soul.
My new hobby is moving his stuff to random places in the house. Good luck making a smoothing at 6:30 in the morning, the blender top's in the dog food container
He snapchated me a photo of his penis with the caption "it needs a home".
The cop said he like my hair today. Please explain all other interactions with law enforcement, k thanks
is buying liquor on my lunch break too aggressive?
there is a guy with a glowstick staff outside my house
Well, I can now cross "dirty drunk homeless hobo" off of my bucket list of people who have been successful wingmen for me. North Carolina is getting weird.
Randomize