I want to come over to your house, give you money for liquor, fuck you, and then kick it untill I have to go home. Was that blatent enough for you?
kill, fuck, marry: alice cullen, hermione granger, ginny weasley.
damn... fuck alice for sure, I feel bad but i think I have to say marry ginny... and kill hermoine! I can't believe I'm answering this right now.
it's a little hard to watch the basketball games with my family considering they keep cheering for the guy that i had a one night stand with...
you were having sex in the bathroom so i pee'd in your bong water...
The one from last night got me a whole floor of Eskimo Brothers. There was a celebration of high fiving as I left
He's throwing up in my bed and I'm not even getting fucked for this
thank you for reminding me that I stumbled into a public place drunk at 9am wearing a chicks pants.
Why on earth is he slamming his body into the wall again?
we had break-up sex in a port-a-potty. how do you think it went?!
After i finished him. He goes "youre a champion"... Then whispers "forever"
I get a nose bleed and my uncle is automatically giving me the "your doing lines off dashboards again aren't you" look
I cnant read. Cheetos goen. Help. Grt Cheetos.
You forget how awesome toilet paper is until you have to wipe your ass with a piece of notebook paper...
Thats just a parental red flag. They have been brainwashed. Lets baptize them into the church of PBR
In any case. I fucked a married couple recently. Know what a straight person would've done there? Been super weirded out by 1/3 of the genitals there, that's what.
Randomize