I just did the classiest thing ever.
last time you said that you got chlamydia.
eating kraft dinner with my face. no forks.
There's always one sober annoying person at a party. I hate responsible people. I just wanted to show everyone my nipples. There cute. She didn't have to stop me
I was just hoping for a dick worthy of his established age.
You pretended to pelvic thrust my mother on the boat while my 92 year old grandmother looked on. Thanks.
The school security guard knows my name.... I think I'm missing some memories...
If you hear a sad honk in the wind it is me.
"DO YOU LIKE FLYING KITES" WORKED AS A PICKUP LINE. SUCK IT.
Her husband thinks she's banging me and nothing is going to change his mind so I told her we might as well just bang and make him right
i just found my fake in the snow. LIFE IS AWESOME
Ah. Hot spring. Infinitely less skeevy than a hot tub. These North Carolinian dudes are all class.
Omg the world wants us to be better people
I refuse
Watching Supernatural does more for me sexually than the physical encounters with 90% of the men in my life.
Just opened my sisters laptop to "cute places to lose my virginity" googled last
I woke up with leftover chocolate syrup on my nipples. WTF happened last night??
Randomize
