piano lessons. No girlfriend. What's up.
im gay
i know
yea but for you.
Draw a picture of yourself puking and peeing on her and give it to her with a note that sys this could be your future if you be my friend
oh well at that point I was already depressed with life because I had watched the bratz movie.
Saying he's good in bed would be like saying Soulja Boy is a good rapper, completely unlogical if you've heard him.
just went back to the bar and asked if they found a shoe last night.
There's two big trays of water in our freezer. I just hope they freeze by Saturday. for the ice luge.
its Wednesday...
they're reeeeeally big trays
I hear youre working today. To keep you entertained, ive compiled a list of condiments that my dick has NOT been slathered in since last Friday: Relish, and raspberry jam. That's right.
I dont care how drunk you were. Making a bet with MY husband at MY wedding that you could seal the deal before he could is ALWAYS inappropriate!
You gave your boss a bj to get the safe employee of the month award?
All I want to do is shower, but there is a keg in there.
Tuesday Boozeday turned into What-the-fuck-were-you-thinking Wednesday real fast.
Me: I shouldn't go to the airport bar it's too expensive and I don't need it. Dark me: SHOTS AT 7 AM
college girl with braces trying to flirt with you...time to go
Your vagina is awesome, like it needs to teach a class for other vaginas
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