we are going to smoke at least three blunts before we go see Cloudy with a chance of meatballs. I'm going to have my mom make us spaghetti for when we get out so can your mom make those spicy meatballs? I thought I'd give you 9 days notice so everything's perfect.
just spent all of my last class as a college student, vomiting in the bathroom. its moments like these i will cherish
I can't wait to get all this Makers out of my shoe.
day 8: i just gave goat a piece of pineapple soaked in rum. as an animal science major, im ashamed. as a normal person, it was awesome.
Just walk-of-shame'd past fifteen little girls at summer camp. Take a good look girls, I am you in twelve years.
nothing says new school year like ambulances and police road blocks.
complete strangers are now referring to me as 'the bourbon guy.' i can live with this.
He told me that he wanted to break up with his girl friend but only after we had sex, only for him to make sure I'm worth it..
the threesome consisted of him fingering dana while i laid next to them watching how i met your mother.
So many lesbians keep hitting on me. I'm about to give up and just go home with the manliest one.
"lets watch the sunrise" turned into "lets have sex on the roof at six thirty in the morning"
i think you lost all your innocence when you were caught straddling a fence in your thong & cowboy boots by the 40 year old apartment manager
I may have dislocated my hip getting fucked on the bathroom counter
look im sitting on my bathroom floor in my underwear snorting cocaine can we talk about this later
It's starting to get sad how I have this 'new beginning' feeling after every negative pregnancy test
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