And secondly i just said i'd pay ten dollars to have sex with you
Hashbrowns don't come out your nose as easily as you would think
so the last visual we have of him for the next 87 weeks is him outside on the ground rolling around yelling I HATE BLOWJOBS
WERE YOU GOING TO TELL ME THERE WAS A LOAF OF BANANA BREAD IN THE OVEN BEFORE YOU LEFT FOR A 5 HOUR SHIFT??
He cut part of his finger off. It was a consolation blow job.
Oh god the guy I took underwear from at the bar is trying to add me as a friend on facebook now.
We're about to have a bottle rocket fight on jetskis. You have 5 minutes to get on our level.
Two questions for you. Did I throw up last night and did we get food or did I dream that..?
No you never threw up but you did force me to take you to wendy's because you wanted "beef and ketchup"
Safe to say I relapsed into my old chatroulette drunk flashing days.
Dude, he threw a pool chair off of an 8 story building. It was a successful night I'd say.
WHY did you say no to the sex seance?
Someone's vagina was extra sandy cause the left side of my bed feels like the beach.
I got a lap dance last night from a girl while I was wearing a Captian America onsie. My life does not suck.
What's a sexy way to say balls deep???
for future reference, singing eye of the tiger outside my door while i am having sex makes me incredibly uncomfortable
apparently not uncomfortable enough for you to stop
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