If you made a robot out of pillows would he be nice? It's hard to imagine a mean pillow robot. And who came up with the idea of shaving their legs?
she passed out facedown in my lap while I was playing piano. 11 years of piano lessons finally paid for themselves.
He counted every piece of macaroni in the box and then faceplanted into the bowl
I was to tired to jerk him off, so he made me hold it while he thrusted into my hand.
At this point can I suggest a mail away bride. You judge Nick but you are a strange dude and that may be your ticket.
We tried to make ramen in a glass bowl on the stove. They called facilities to pick the glass out of the door
We need to figure out what we are doing for halloween asap. I'm not going out like a punk ass bitch burger king again this year.
I just want to know how she convinced 6 sober ROTC guys to have an ab contest on a street corner at 2 in the morning.
I just realized that at some point last night I told someone I would only be friends with 16% of them because the other 84% stole my people's land
well i mean, we just followed them into an alien and astronaut party. there was tin foil everywhere
You was so high that you insisted that you heard someone whistle, then you insisted they was trapped in the wall!
So I got cockblocked by our relationship status last night
Ok maybe second best. He dated a stripper. Can't compete with that level of hoeness
i woke up to drewlling on a plate of eggrolls half naked halfway between my bed and the floor, and i have no idea where my pants went
I texted her mom a picture of us doing it saying "I'm trying to make your daughter just like you!" she was not amused.
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