I just woke up to a guy kissing me goodbye and leaving for class. I don't know where I am, don't have any clothes on, my underwear are gone, and the shoes I found with my dress aren't mine. He just walked in and gave me my phone. I was on my period. Come get me I will walk to the nearest intersection and wait.
well hello there hangover. fancy meeting you here on this BRIGHT thursday morning.
I made the bartender pinky promise me there was still vodka in my drinks.
Look what our sorority has done to us...we're hitting on girls in hopes of getting an awesome little.
dizzyuy bat. 3.453 lkos. hoit sx, now im single. blackouteed
we didnt even make it to the club...the two of us were sharing a plastc bag in the taxi puking into it.
I'd say it's a shame and a disservice to the world that we can't stay drunken shitshows to infinity
It's not that I'm in love with her, so much as I would love to be her lesbian experience.
He slapped my ass and his clap-on light turned on.
How is there no taco emoji?! That's some bullshit.
He was hammered and shot his pistol into the lawn. Next thing I know sheriffs are at our house with M4s. He likes to party
For the sake of being nice I congratulated her and she replied with something along the lines of that I need to stay away from him and not touch him ever. I really wanted to be like "been there, done that" but my New Years resolution was to not start any cat fight over boys with small dicks before noon
And some neighbor just saw me naked and hunched over a bag of potato chips stuffing my face. Maybe clothes aren't a bad idea.
He slept outside in his hammock, and then took a lawn chair with him in the shower because he was too drunk to stand up.
These rednecks don't fuck around. This party is completely BYOB and we now have 6 kegs, 3 of which have already been emptied.
Randomize
