DO IT!!! IT MUST BE FATE THAT I GAVE YOU THAT CONDOM!!!!
a chick just tried to cover her fart by sneezing. it didn't work
I need to write the inventor of adderall a thank you note stapled to a copy of my degree
today's the one month anniversary of me not giving anyone head. can you tell me you're proud
it's sad that this is a milestone
Dont even bother asking why she was dancing with him on top of a door, let alone how the door ended up being used as a table.
It's like a puppy that we have to take care of at all times or else she'll get sad, lonely, and chew on the furniture. And by 'chew on the furniture', I mean have anonymous sex.
Tranny group. Dance off. Horse hair and dicks swinging. I. Cant. Unsee. This.
antibiotics and champagne: breakfast of champions
you said you didn't want to carry the pizza box so just folded up the pizza and put it in your pocket
The site I use to study flash cards keeps showing ads for truck companies hiring drivers. It's like the site is saying "hey, we all know there's no hope for you, just give up and Become a truck driver."
He didn't call me beautiful but he came in less than five minutes so same thing, right?
Hook ups at LEGOLAND don't count right?
Are we playing inappropriate sexual encounters bingo?
I got so drunk I thought my tennis court was a corn field so I laid in it and ate pizza
I'm literally trapped as the little spoon on a mattress on the floor of an unfinished basement with a professional athlete snoring in my hair
long story short... we may or may not have lost your car.
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